I knew I had a wonderful family. I loved them and they loved me. Especially my parents, me and Mum were like best friends and I was a complete Daddys girl. My Mum and Dad were soulmates, you could just see it and I think that was the glue that held us all together. Our family just seemed to fit, there was never really any tension, and everyone knew their place and we were all very happy.
I would give anything to have that back ...
On Monday November 10th last year, I was living at my mum and dads, with my little sister J (13yrs old), A (The Partner) and O (my son). J had gone to school and Mum and Dad had left for work on their motorbike. Leaving me, A and O upstairs in bed, fast asleep. At 9.00am there was a knock on the door that woke me up, I got up and dressed and went to answer, there stood our close family and friends, M and D. I was really happy to see them as I hadn't for a while and asked what they were doing here so early ... Then I saw their faces.
I knew something was wrong. I kept asking what was wrong over and over. They ushered me inside and told me that there had been an accident. Mum was in Hospital very badly hurt ... and Dad hadn't made it. He died. - Tears stream down my face as I write this to you. I miss my Daddy so much. Their bike was hit by an oncoming car. The car was overtaking on a blind corner, Dad was driving and mum was a pillion passenger ... they didnt stand a chance. The car hit them head on. Dad was unconcious immediatly and didn't regain conciousness, and mum rolled about 6 meters into the grass on the side of the road.
As M and D told me this I broke down, it felt unreal. Then I thought about Mum ... what was wrong with her? Would she be ok? ... They didn't know. M went upstairs to tell A, who then came downstairs silently and did nothing but hold me close and let me cry. I then called my brother (who lives away from home but still in the same town) and told him to come to mums straight away. I didnt tell him why, just told him to come. When he arrived I told him, he too broke down. Then Jess arrived from school ... poor little 13 year old J. She had no idea what was going on, I didn't have the strength to tell her, so M did. She didn't cry, she stood there ... stunned.
I drove to the Hospital that night with my brother to find out what had happened to mum. She was in intensive care. She had her right leg amputated and both of her arms were broken. She had a massive metal cage fitted to her right arm (which is still there now) and she was connected to a breathing tube. She had a 10% chance of survival.
None of us knew what would happen that night, none of us slept.
I had never wanted my Daddy so badly as I did that night. At least I had A and my gorgeous little boy to keep me company.
Mum done really well through the night, and had upped her chance of survival to 30%. She just kept growing stronger and stronger. They had kept her sedated as they knew if she was awake shock would kick in, and that's the last thing she needed with having two massive operations and loosing her soul mate. And so, we waited. Sitting by her bed, talking to her, stroking her hair and telling her we were there, no matter what.
Some people say that if people are unconcious, wether it be through sedation or comas, a part of them can still hear you. I didn't know wether Mum could hear, I think I just needed to talk to her to reassure myself. We sat for hours, all of the family there and then the Coroner came to see me. Me and my brother had asked to see Dad in the Chapel of Rest on the Tuesday (the day after the accident). He had come to tell us that we could, in a few hours.
We sat with Mum until that time came, telling her we were going to see Daddy and say goodbye.
Then, me and my Brother walked to the Chapel ... smoking the whole way. We were taken into a small waiting room were the Coroner explained to use what we would see when we went into the room where Dad was to say goodbye. I'm not going to write about this bit, as it was very personal for both me and my brother, and I don't think any one else needs to know.
Back in Intensive Care the Nursing Staff told us that they were planning on waking Mum up on Wednesday at 12.00pm. Me and my Brother were both shattered, and I hadn't seen my son in two days. So we went back to Mums room, kissed her forehead and told her we would be back tomorrow to talk to her when she was awake. The drive home was horrible, not wanting to leave Mum, even though other family members were there. I couldn't help but feel completly helpless.
A was my rock, when I cried he said nothing, he just hugged me and dried my tears. I don't suppose there was anything he could say at that point. What could he say? 'Everythings going to be alright?' ...
